Learn about premature ejaculation and control techniques to improve your sex life. – approximate reading time: 7 minutes
There are two types of premature ejaculation. Primary premature ejaculation in which the man has never been able to control the reflex during sexual intercourse and secondary premature ejaculation, which affects men who used to have control and subsequently lost it, usually related to some kind of emotional problem, stress or anxiety.
This precipitous ejaculation can happen even before penetration and affects many relationships. Many men after visiting a doctor / urologist know that it’s not due to an organic cause such as:
- urogenital infections of the urethra and prostate
- neurological disorders
- vascular disorders
- the consumption of drugs (antidepressants, stimulants, antihypertensives and flu containing pseudoephedrine)
- degenerative diseases
- hormonal imbalances
- diseases that alter the reflex mechanisms of ejaculation
- psychiatric illnesses (bipolar or post-traumatic stress disorder)
Discarding the physical part, the mental part should be reviewed. Many times the cause can be stress, anxiety, nervousness, guilt, sadness, anguish, etc. Some men have lost the connection and the feeling of their own body due to such emotions.
Here are some techniques and tips to learn to control ejaculation to avoid reaching the point of no return:
Learn to control your breathing and your sexual muscles with the Kegel exercise to increase your erections, control ejaculation, and prevent prostatitis. These exercises were developed in the 1940s by Dr. Arnold Kegel. They are well known for treating incontinence problems, but there are other benefits such as increased sexual pleasure. This practice has actually been around for thousands of years. In Tao it is used to control ejaculation, as the release of sperm leads to a loss of energy and vitality and thus influences longevity. Similar exercises in tantra / kriya yoga are the Vajroli mudra (contraction of the urethra), Ashwini Mudra (contraction of the anus) and Mula Bandha (contraction of the perineum). In this video you learn about the Kegel exercise:
Sharpening the knife:
Mantak Chia explains in this video video various sexual exercises for men. A very powerful one is the “Sharpening the knife”:
Practice this exercise so that your energy conduit is open and relaxed.
Massage your testicles:
The testicles are often forgotten although they influence your sexuality greatly manufacturing sperm and creating 95% of your testosterone. By massaging them you are increasing the blood and energy flow.
Other beneficial exercises:
Practice meditation, pranayamas (breathing exercises) and yoga for more concentration, a better flow of energy and general well-being.
During the sexual act:
Sexual arousal speeds up the heart rate. To avoid premature ejaculation it is advisable to maintain a normal heart rate and this can be achieved through controlled breathing. Learn deep, rhythmic abdominal breathing. For different reasons, most adults only breathe shallowly instead of practicing lower belly breathing. So use your breath to control your orgasm:
- You can breathe deeply and expand the energy accumulated in the genitals during sexual intercourse throughout your body.
- Another option would be not to move and to relax through a connected, slow and deep breathing visualising how the energy moves up your spine. You can vibrate and shake your body slightly to remove tensions and to relax even more.
- You can even hold your breath for a few seconds until the feeling of ejaculation disappears or practice the breath of fire to disperse the energy.
Through brief detention:
Another practice could be to stop during sex when you feel that you are at approximately 80% of your arousal. You stop and move a bit out and contract the pubococcygeus (PC) muscle to prevent ejaculation. Then you keep on making love. Repeat this several times.
Through certain motions:
- Press the tip of the penis (if you are not in the vagina) or the base of the penis with your thumb and two fingers.
- Hit the million dollar point. You can find this point by contracting the PC muscle and squeezing this point just in front of the anus where there is a small indentation. This pressure will help you focus your attention and interrupt the ejaculatory reflex.
- Pull the scrotum. The testicles have to get closer to the body to be able to propel the semen out, by pulling them firmly down and away from the body, you can delay ejaculation.
And how can tantric massage help?
A tantric massage always includes breath-work which decreases anxiety and increases relaxation. By stimulating the sensitivity of the whole body, the pleasure is not only in the genital region, but allover and this way the erection is prolonged and orgasm is delayed. The gentle movement of the tantric massage produces pleasant effects on the body and mind, improving self-control and confidence.
The Taoist Mantak Chia indicates in his book “Sexual Reflexology” that the sexual organs are the most important reflex points of the body and that, when properly stimulated, they can have a powerful healing effect on the senses and internal organs, providing health and well-being in general.